Karkat Plays Minecraft
by Zachary Ryans
Summary: A troll youth discovers the inane horror of a sandbox video game. Hilarity ensues!
1. Land Of Trees And Minecarts

"What the fuck is this?" asked Karkat.

Karkat had opened the Minecraft application on Sollux's computer. Karkat looked about the title screen for any clue to what the stupid program might be.

Sollux sighed and walked up behind him, "It's called Minecraft, Karkat. It's a game. It just had a big update."

Sollux had invited himself over to hang out at Karkat's place. Karkat sure wasn't going to do any inviting. The two young trolls wasted hours with coding and code-related conversations. They wrapped up their day's work and continued to hang out into the evening. Karkat and Sollux briefly switched computers to check over some final errors when Karkat started clicking around and opened up the Minecraft application.

Karkat pressed a few buttons, "Am I winning?"

"No," said Sollux, "You have to start a new game. Click 'Create New World'."

Karkat clicked a few more times.

"Am I winning yet?" asked Karkat.

"No," said Sollux, "You can't win. There's no goal."

"What?" said Karkat, "That's retarded! What kind of idiot plays a game with no goal?"

"You shouldn't be so presumptuous, Double-K," said Sollux, "Give it a shot. Maybe you'll enjoy it."

Karkat scowled, "And maybe I'll enjoy jumping down a fifty foot cliff into a jagged rocky abyss while punching myself in the face and thinking of all the time I wasted playing retarded video games without any goals or objectives."

"Maybe," said Sollux, "Once you're done here, maybe you should take a walk out into the woods and give that a shot, too."

Karkat was quiet. Sollux was in a snarky mood so Karkat instead put his focus on playing the damn game. Sollux watched from behind him with a warm grin on his pressed a few keys, clicked the mouse a few times, and adjusted the volume control.

Karkat then asked, "So what do I do first?"

The sun was just rising over the wide open field. Karkat found himself in the middle of large, empty grassland with only a few trees in the distance and a few sheep nearby. Not much more could be seen among the rolling hills around him. Only the clouds were above.

Sollux's disembodied voice came in, "First, you have to build shelter. Find some trees."

Karkat looked over at the trees far in the distance, "Why aren't there any trees around here? Is this place sick with radiation poisoning? What kind of game starts you off in a contaminated area?"

"Don't worry about it," said Sollux, "Head over to those trees. You want to build a shelter before night sets in."

Karkat walked. And as he did he looked around at all the world had to offer. A small pond surrounded with a slope of sand. Tall grass rose from the dirt. There were patches of red and yellow flowers among the waves of land. The land seemed to go on forever with a million secrets waiting to be unveiled.

"What happens when night sets in?" asked Karkat.

"Zombies come out," said Sollux, "Zombies and skeletons. But the one's you really got to watch for is the creepers."

"Thank you for the hint, oh wise one," said Karkat, "Let me check my encyclopedia of bullshit just to find out what the fuck those are!"

"They're bad guys, KK," said Sollux, "Okay... don't _worry _about them for now. Just find some trees."

Karkat groaned, "Okay."

"I have found some trees," said Karkat, "What now?"

Karkat stood at the end of a large forest. Tall, fearsome trees drowned the floor with the shadows of oblivion. For a second Karkat could see something in the distance, but no. No, it was nothing. Just seein' things.

"Punch them down!" said Sollux.

"What!" said Karkat, "What kind of dumbass goes around punching trees?"

"It's part of the game, Double-K," said Sollux.

Karkat scowled and approached a short oak tree nearby. He glared at it. This tree before him was an enemy and it was his sworn duty to defeat it. He heaved back his arm and swayed his body forward as his unleashed one fuck of a punch. There was a loud quaking crash as his knuckles connected with the tree's barky surface. The tree fell towards the ground and exploded into a bunch of spinning wood block pickups.

Karkat went wide-eyed, "Wha-! Did I kill it!"

"Uhhh... sure," said Sollux, "Take the wooden pieces and make them into planks."

Karkat picked up one of the blocks and asked, "What do I do? Just chop them with my bare-!"

The block in Karkat's hands had popped into four wooden planks. After a brief juggling act, Karkat lost hold of the planks and they all fell to the ground. Karkat stamped his foot in a show of anger.

"What the _fuck!_" said Karkat, "They turned themselves into a bunch of wooden longboards!"

"Take the planks," said Sollux, "and build yourself a crafting bench."

Karkat groaned some more and picked up some of the planks. He cobbled them together until they formed a crafting bench. It wasn't a very professional looking one. It was uneven. Some of the wood on the sides was chipped and coarse. Heck, even some of the nails weren't in all the way. But what was Karkat supposed to do? All he did was press a bunch of planks together like a sorceror!

"Isn't that cute?" said Karkat, "I have myself a wooden pile of shit!"

"Yes you do," said Sollux, "Take the planks to make some sticks and take those sticks and some planks to make a pickaxe. You have only a few hours until nightfall so you better get digging a hole or building a shelter because you don't want to be outside when the creepers come out."

Karkat slapped the planks on the bench, cut them into sticks, took the sticks with a few more planks and built himself a nice sturdy wooden pickaxe. For some reason a wooden pickaxe made out of scrawny twigs was strong enough to break through hard rock, but Karkat wasn't going to question the physics of the alien world. But then he did!

"How does a wooden piece of shit pickaxe break into solid rock?" asked Karkat, "What kind of bile-spewing part-"

"_Quiet, Karkat!_" ordered Sollux, "Start digging down. You'll need stone to make better equipment."

Karkat groaned and picked up the pickaxe from the bench. He stumbled around the grass for a bit before settling on a nice spot to dig down. He heaved the pickaxe high into the air and struck the dirt with all his might. A block of dirt popped out! Karkat wasn't a fan of the blocks and tossed that one aside. He dug deeper into the ground, tossing more blocks aside.

While Karkat was busy underground mining stone and dirt, day was coming to a close. The sun was falling back behind the horizon and darkness was blanketing over the fields. Monsters were starting to dwell out of the forests and into the plains. The world was turning hostile.

Karkat walked out of his pit with dust on his face and stone in his hands. He panted coarsely as his lungs had been smoked with rocky dust.

"It's nighttime!" said Karkat.

Sollux chuckled, "It's too late to build a house now. There are monster out. You should use your cave for shelter for now."

"I'm not living in some stale cave!" said Karkat, "Fuck that! I'll build a house!"

Karkat looked around. There were skeletons with bows, and pale-fleshed zombies. And off in the distance he could see some green pole-creatures, whatever they were. His world had turned against and now he had to fight to survive.


	2. CG: Build a shelter

"But how are you supposed to build a house with skeletons around?" asked Sollux.

Karkat shouted to the air at Sollux's disembodied voice, "I don't know! You're the master of this game! Can I build a weapon of some sort?"

"You can build a sword," said Sollux, "Some twigs and stone."

A few zombies nearby were walking towards Karkat with their eyes(?) locked on him. Karkat wasted no time building himself a weapon. He put some stone blocks on the table, slapped on a twig, and made himself a stone sword. The blade shown in the sun- except it was night so it didn't, it shown in the moonlight- except moonlight is sunlight reflected off the moon's surface so theoritically the sword did shine in the sun. Except it didn't shine because it was a coarse-looking piece of shit.

Karkat took the blade in his right hand and stared down the zombies, "Why doesn't this stupid game have a sickle? I'm completely out of my element!"

They shambled their way close to Karkat groaning as they moved with their arms stuck out like they were being dragged by their rotting hands.

Karkat roared as he ran up to the ghouls and jumped into the air. He took both hands to the blade's handle and swung the sword down the zombie's body. The festering creature fell back and disappeared into a burst of smoke.

Before Karkat could act again, one of the zombies slapped him right on the face.

He backed away and wiped his face, "Ew-w-w-w-w!_ Fuck! _"

"What's wrong?" asked Sollux.

"What's wrong!" Karkat shouted, "That zombie just touched me! I got zombie on me!"

"Complain about it later, KK," said Sollux, "You got some zombies to slay and a house to build."

Karkat gritted his teeth and charged the two zombies once again. He first sliced into the one that dared touch him and then stabbed the other. While they were both dazed, Karkat then chopped at both of them a few more times. Both zombies fell "dead".

"How many more do I got to kill?" asked Karkat.

Sollux cleared his throat, "Uhhhh... until morning."

"What do you mean 'until morning'?" asked Karkat.

"They keep respawning," said Sollux, "They all burst into flames when morning comes. You'll have to wait until then."

"Fuck dammit!" said Karkat. He took a look around, "Okay, no one's around. Let's build a house."

He walked over to his crafting bench which had become the closest thing to a home base he had. There was the hole he dug earlier nearby, and some trees at arm's length. On the ground he had stacked a number of dirt blocks, stone blocks, and whatever was left of his wood blocks. Karkat sheathed his sword.

The first layer of wall came up easy. Karkat took the remaining wooden blocks he had and built a square frame on the ground around his workbench.

"Fuck!" said Karkat, "I'm out of wooden longboards!"

"Use dirt or stone if you have to," said Sollux, "Gravel and sand are the only blocks that drop when you place them."

"I'm not living in a house made of dirt!" said Karkat, "Forget it, I'll punch down some more trees."

He took a quick look into the nearby forest to spot any more zombies, but everything seemed clear. A quick in and out was what he wanted. He took to the nearest tree and began punching it down like before. The short tree toppled over and transformed into a pile of wood blocks and saplings. Karkat left the saplings alone and took the wood.

_'How much will I need?' _he asked himself in though.

As he approached his next tree, he began hearing a screechy hissing sound. Karkat drew his sword he looked around for the creature, but even as he moved along the forest, he couldn't see anything behind the trees.

Karkat scratched his head, "Where are y-!"

Something had attacked from the top. Karkat fell to the ground and dropped his sword. When he looked ahead, he was staring down a giant yellow-eyed spider with sharp fangs and black fur.

"Damn it!" Karkat shouted as he grabbed his sword.

The spider approached him slowly for a second strike, but before the spider could leap, Karkat swung at it with his sword and struck its face. The spider was knocked back, but not slain. It hopped once again at Karkat and before he could get up from the ground, the spider had pinned him down. The sword once again fell from his hands.

Karkat screamed as the spider's fang drew close to his neck. The feel of the arachnid's smooth, wet tooth rubbing up against his skin was enough to make him spasm in disgust. He used all his strength to push himself off the ground, pull the spider off of his body, and whip the beast against a nearby tree, felling the tree and slaying the spider both!

"Ugh!" Karkat screamed as he wiped his neck, "Why does every monster around here have to be so disgusting?"

"That was a spider," said Sollux, "It can climb walls."

Karkat could only grumble in annoyance.

The tree that the spider was thrown against had disassembled into a pile of saplings and wooden blocks. Karkat took the blocks and looked around for his sword. Grabbing his sword, Karkat ran back to his to-be shelter and dropped the wood on the ground. No monsters closeby, but he could see a few skeletons and a pair of green stick monsters in the distance.

He began converting the wood trunks into wooden boards and continued building his walls.

"Make sure you leave room for a doorway," said Sollux.

Karkat didn't answer. The second layer of his wood wall was going at a moderate pace. He walked backwards along the wooden frame dropping wooden boards along the way. Before long he had his second layer although he neglected the idea of a doorway.

"Take out two blocks going down," said Sollux, "We'll put a door there."

Still silent, Karkat took out two wooden blocks going down, leaving a space in his wall. He walked up to the bench before spotting a touch of green just over his hole's edge.

"Ack!" Karkat shouted, "What is it? A zombie?"

"No, KK," said Sollux, "It's a creeper! If it gets close to you it'll explode!"

"Explode!" said Karkat, "Why the fuck would it do that? Is it suicidal?"

"Uh..." mumbled Sollux, "Yeah, I guess so."

Karkat scowled, and edged close to the pit. He drew his blade and brought it afront his body. It wasn't a sickle but standard one-handed weapon protocol remained. Karkat could see the creeper hopping up and down the steps he made for the hole. With a steady hand, Karkat zipped up to the hole and swung aimlessly into it, hoping to strike the "creeper". After swinging the sword like a madman, he took a second to look down the hole and see if anything was still living.

The creeper remained. Karkat had swung it, but the green stick monster looked at Karkat with angry and melancholic black eyes. He began hopping up the steps- towards Karkat.

"God damn!" said Karkat.

He swung again but missed. The creature was resilient. Maybe swords could not destroy it. Karkat looked around for something- _anything- _that could kill the beast. But there was nothing else around, just piles of stone, dirt, and wood.

"Fuck this!" said Karkat.

He picked up a dirt block and placed it on the stairway. It was too high for the creeper to climb up. Karkat leaned over the edge to see what the creeper was doing and fell back when the creeper poked out from behind the cliff. Frantically, Karkat took another block and made the steep higher. He took some more blocks and covered up the hole completely.

Karkat laughed in triumph, "Haha! Take that you stupid eldritch vegetable!"

It was another small victory for Karkat, but the night was still young. The moon had barely left the horizon. Monsters still dwelled and he hadn't finished his house. Would he survive? We shall see. Or shall we? Yes, we shall.


	3. CG: Continue building shelter

"How do I make a door?" asked Karkat.

"Take some wooden boards and place them in a three by two grid," said Sollux.

Karkat took another look around. He could have sworn there were _two _creepers around, and he only burried one. It must have ran away. With the coast clear, Karkat lugged piece after piece of wood onto the crafting table and transmuted them into a door. It was a tall and mighty door, with a bronze finish and Victorian patterns on the front.

"Look at me!" said Karkat, "I'm a fucking master carpenter. Please ask me to build your laze-chambers so waste countless hours in."

He picked up the door and brought it to the gap in his house. He placed it upwards and opened it up to see if he installed it correctly. It worked like a breeze! He shut the door behind him and looked around his home.

"This is good enough, right?" asked Karkat.

"You don't have a roof!" said Sollux, "The spiders will climb over the walls and attack you."

"I've had enough of those fuckers," Karkat looked around, "How do I get back up on my walls? I'm not done building!"

"You could make a ladder?" Sollux suggested, "Actually, you might as well make a step out of a wooden block."

Karkat clapped his hands together and summoned a tall stack of wooden blocks out of his inventory. He placed one at the foot of his wooden walls and climbed back up onto them. He began his third layer of the his house's walls. He started from the door and made his way around building his home's height to three blocks, but-

"Ack!"

Karkat screamed as he fell off the wall and into his house. That's an arrow to his head and then the fall to the ground- a double whammy. Karkat groaned and plucked the arrow from his forehead. Where did he put his sword? He put it down somewhere and couldn't remember where.

"Damn it," said Karkat, "Where'd I put that useless stone on a stick?"

He didn't even know what shot him, but it was going to get _it! _Karkat walked to the door and opened it slowly, not to make a noise. He peeked just around the wall...

"Ack!"

Another arrow in the forehead, but Karkat got a good look at the malevolent sniper. It was a skeleton. A mean-looking one, too. Karkat could see his workbench through the door's window and saw the stone sword right on the ground. He tossed the second arrow on the ground and swung the door open.

A quick hop and roll to dodge any incoming arrows, but when the skeleton fired off another shot, the arrow zipped past Karkat and landed in the distance. Karkat grabbed his sword and hid behind the workbench.

_'Those guys have trouble hitting me from longer distances,' _thought Karkat, _'How am I going to slay it without getting too close?'_

Karkat peeked out from the workbench to get another arrow shot towards him. It landed on the workbench but he was safe. There was only one skeleton. If Karkat could slay that one, his house-building efforts would be back on. All Karkat had was his sword. He looked at the sword and knew what he had to do.

Before the skeleton had time to fire again, Karkat jumped out from behind the workbench and heaved the stone sword at the skeleton. The sword pierced the skeleton's boney body and it fell to the ground.

Dead.

Sort of.

Karkat grinned proudly and walked back to his home. He picked up some wooden blocks lying around and stacked another couple steps to get on top. He found his position on the wall and continued to build the third layer of his house. It took only a few seconds to finish off the third layer by placing a wooden block over the door.

"Now build a roof," said Sollux.

"How?" asked Karkat, "Do I just stick wooden blocks against the walls and make a floor across the air?"

"Yeah," said Sollux, "The only blocks that fall are sand and gravel. Everything else says suspended in the air."

"What kind of stupid game denies the laws of physics?" asked Karkat, "Wooden blocks should fall unless they have proper suspension."

"We'll worry about that later," said Sollux, "For now, you should ignore real-life physics and build a simple roof."

Karkat mumbled sweet nothings and began placing wooden blocks against the wall's third layer. The room below was covered in darkness as Karkat built a wooden roof that cut through the moonlight. The flat roof built of the same material as the walls looked awkward and amateur, but it was just an emergency shelter for the night. Who really gives a fuck?

"Finally!" said Karkat as he hopped off the roof, "It's about time I headed in for the night and wait this thing out."

The door was left open before. Karkat walked into the darkness.

"How do I make light?" asked Karkat.

"You need torches," said Sollux, "You can make some out of coal and sticks."

There was a sudden hissing sound. Karkat looked around his small hut to spot any spiders.

"Huh?" said Karkat, "Is a spider back?"

The hissing got louder. Karkat turned around to see a creeper face-to-face. It was tucked in the corner by the door quietly waiting for Karkat to return home. The creeper began to flash white and expand.

Kaboom.

Karkat gazed at the computer screen with a glare that could have melted iron. The mouse creaked as Karkat's grip tightened on the sides. His left hand shook with surpressed anger. His eyes- wait, no- I already talked about his eyes. His hair stood on ends. No, that's stupid. Okay, so he showed a lot of angry body language while Sollux looked onward with a smug grin.

"Your shelter got _obliterated, _KK," said Sollux.

"This stupid motherfucking game!" shouted Karkat, "If I could take the inanity of every minute playing this game, I'd have enough vapid energy to pacify a whole crapsack planet into apathy!"

There was a silence.

"_Soooo_... does that mean you're done playing?" said Sollux.

"Egh, send this game back into the Horrorterror's maw," said Karkat.

Another silence. Karkat remained still.

"I need my seat back," said Sollux.

Karkat clicked the mouse and typed on the keyboard, "Give me a bit. I want to try something else."

The troll youth was not done with Minecraft. Such a confounded waste of time was not going to get the best of him! But little did he know that trouble loomed over the horizon and a time of great darkness was going to overtake the popular human video game. There was a time coming, and that time would call for heroes, even an obnoxious serial-raging troll with an attitude problem.

But a time for heroes nonetheless.


	4. Karkat Steals John's Diamonds

Dave set the jukebox down by the bench and took a step back. Yep, everything was in its right place. The house Dave and John shared was coming along nicely. It had evolved from a simple shack into a full-blown residence with a lounge, a storage closet, a basement, and more! With the jukebox in place the lounge was looking pretty sophisticated.

John dragged over the chest full of discs. The pair had only accumulated one disc so far, but what kind of treasure deserved its own chest more than music discs?

John set the chest down, "This listening lounge is looking pretty official!"

Dave nodded and walked to the front door and pulled an iron long sword out of a chest, "Damn straight. I'd love to sit down and groove out on some jams but we got ourselves a coal chest with no coal inside. Let's head back out before night falls."

John took a stone shovel out of his backpack and walked out the front door behind Dave. Their house was built at the edge of a large forest while the large field nearby was completely treeless. Not even a spot of water could be seen from their house. Many animals roamed the bare plains- cows, sheep, and pigs. All normal residents of Minecraft.

John pointed off along the edge of the forest, "I remember seeing a cave over that way that we haven't explored yet. It probably has coal. Let's go check it out."

Dave adjusted his sunglasses and gave John's shoddy-looking shovel a strange look, "Why do you use a shovel to kill monsters?"

"It's the closest thing to a hammer this video game has," said John, "They should really put a hammer in, though. It's a building game yet no hammer. How strange can ya be?"

"I don't want to have to make a fucking hammer to build a house," said Dave, "Never mind that for now. Let's move."

Dave and John began their walk along the forest edge. They faded from the house's vincinity. Just beyond the plains, though, Karkat and Sollux popped out from over the hills. Karkat scurried over the grass towards the house. Sollux dragged behind with a scowl on his face. Karkat zipped up to the front door of the house and looked inside a window.

"Hurry up, Sollux!" said Karkat, "If I had a pet as slow as you I'd throw it into the cookfurnace for dinner."

"You said you got locked out of your server and needed me to hack ourselves in," asked Sollux, "I believed you, KK. You had me hack into Strider's server. I feel like a criminal."

Karkat opened up the door, "The human boy is insolent and needs to be taught a lesson."

"What lesson!" asked Sollux, "You just want to steal his diamond gear and book it!"

Karkat put his finger to his lips, "Shhhhhh..."

The two quietly stepped into Dave and John's groovin' pad. Even with limited design options, Dave and John made one hell of a home. The roof had wooden trims against the walls and the bottom layer. The first layer of wall used red brick while the floor was standard wood. The contrast in colors could have made an eskimo cry.

There were chests lined up against the front wall. Karkat began rummaging through the chests and tossing things on the floors.

"Karkat, what are you doing?" asked Sollux.

"Diamonds, you imbecile!" said Karkat, "I'm going to take all of John's diamonds and build myself a diamond block. Then I am going to take a picture of that block and send it to John. He will be so hurt his endless tears will irrigate the ground from here all the way to the ocean. In two days we will be able to grow wheat right outside the front door."

While Karkat clawed into the many chests along the walls, Sollux casually walked around and admired the stunning architecture. The human boys combined stair blocks with blank signs at the end to make benches.

_'Why didn't I think of that,' _thought Sollux with a grin.

A voice came from the front, "Hey! What's the big idea here?"

John and Dave were at the door, both of them angry-looking. Karkat backed away from the treasure chests before tripping on a stack of fences and falling to the ground. Sollux walked up and picked Karkat off the ground.

"Why don't you idiots have any diamonds for me to steal?" asked Karkat.

"We only found one so far," said John, "We used it to make the jukebox."

"You found a single diamond and you used it to make a fucking jukebox!" said Karkat, "What kind of idiot blows it on jukeboxes? I've only been playing this game a week and even I know not to blow diamonds on lucrative bullshit like that! You're supposed to save up for pickaxes and armor!"

"The jukebox comes first!" Dave drew his sword, "The jukebox _always _comes first!"

"Now just what are you two doing here?" said John, "How did you get here?"

"Foolish human!" said Karkat, "Your pitiful firewalls are no match for my superior hacking abilities and intellect."

Sollux frowned, "_Your _hacking skills! I'm the one that broke through the firewal- _ah, shit! _Why did I say that?"

"You two better leave before I lay down some sick beats on your ass," said Dave, "And by sick beats I mean beats of a violent manner. I mean hurting you both. Especially you, Karkat. Other guy, I'll go easy on you."

Sollux took Karkat's hand and walked, "Come on, Karkat. Let's get out of here."

Karkat snatched his hand from Sollux's grasp, "I can escort myself, thank you very much!"

Sollux walked to the door with Karkat marching behind him. Karkat shot a mean look at John and Dave on the way out the door. John and Dave didn't so much as blink at Karkat's scowl. The two just watched the trolls leave their house with a loud slam of the door. Then, John ran up to the door and called out to them.

"Hey, troll guys!" said John, "It's cool if you stay on my server. You just can't stay in my house."

"Screw you, human boy!" said Karkat, "Like I give a fuck about your retarded server. We trolls have our own server with a higher refresh and rendering rate!"

"I don't know, Double-K," said Sollux, "I think it'd be cool to share a server with John."

"Shut up, Sollux," said Karkat, "You're embarrassing yourself."

John grinned, "Well, if that's your choice, who am I to argue?"

"Shut it, John!" said Karkat, "I'll stay on your bullshit server only because I want to!" – Karkat slapped Sollux on the shoulder- "Come on, Sollux. Let's blow this frozen shit popsicle stand."

"Does that mean we're staying?" asked Sollux.

So Sollux and Karkat walked off into the horizon to build their own house that would surely be better than the homestead that John and Dave spewed- oh, who am I kidding? Dave and John's house was a fucking palace. Anything Sollux and Karkat assembled would have been shit. Sollux has some architectural prowess but Karkat would just fuck the whole project up.

Screw it, Sollux and Karkat built their own goddamn houses. Sollux's was cool. Karkat's was fucking retarded.


	5. The Pillar Of Light

"Why did John invite those trolls onto his server?" asked Rose.

"The more the merrier, I guess," said Jade, "Why? What's the problem?"

Jade and Rose were out exploring for resources in a vast wood far off from their homes. There were no interesting sites in that expansive but flat forest- no caves or cervices to explore- it was just endless grass with many short trees rolling along. It was still daytime so no monsters would show up unless a glitch happened with the tree shadows. It was an empty forest but Jade and Rose enjoyed the tranquility although they both had weapons just in case danger approached.

"I'm not a fan of that Vantas fellow," said Rose, "The one with the 3D spectacles is alright- he's apparently an accomplished modder- but Karkat is an abrasive nuisance."

"I don't know..." Jade said hummingly, "He's okay once you get to know him! Actually, he can be sort of cute."

Rose raised an eyebrow, "Karkat has a cute side? Take it from a girl who's spoken with eldritch abominations, that sounds terrifying!"

"_Come on, _Lalonde!" said Jade, "He's not _that _bad. You're being melodramatic."

Rose eyed a short cliff before hopping down. She landed gracefully and turned around to watch Jade follow behind her, "Ms. Harley, some things man was not meant to know. I worry for your sanity now that you've seen the _Cute Side of Vantas_."

Jade got a good look at the cliff's slope before hopping down. Her jump was good but her legs got caught in her skirt and she stumbled a bit on the landing.

Rose took Jade's arm, "Steady now!"

Jade chuckled, "These legs were made for adventuring but this skirt wasn't."

Rose looked around. She brought the compass out of her inventory and took a look. She looked off to the south, then to the north. Everything was so still and quiet. Only distant sounds of cows and pigs. Not a gust of wind moved the trees, but then again wind wasn't part of the Minecraft game. But Rose and Jade _pretended _there was a wind blow.

"Isn't this around where you saw that odd beacon of light?" asked Rose.

Jade glanced around, "Yeah, it was around here, wasn't it? Dave says it was probably just a glitch or something."

"I don't see any burning trees or torches," said Rose, "We can't really find it again- the beacon of light- until later this evening. Maybe we should stay around and see if the beacon show's itself in the darkness. We'll build a shelter of course."

Jade grimaced a bit, "I have a problem with building another shelter all the way out here. I don't want to get too far away from the others."

"It'll only be tonight," said Rose, "We're just checking out the pillar of light. We could make a campout out of it. Except it will be indoors so skeletons can't shoot at us."

"Okay then," said Jade, "Let's get building!"

The rest of the day was spent building another shelter right there in the northern forest. Between the two of them, Rose and Jade had a lot of torches, lots of wood, and some stone, but they had to make some more tools, dig a hole in the ground to mine for stone, and chop down some more trees for lumber. Jade built a workbench and a furnace quickly so they could burn some charcoal.

They had some conflicts on the measurements of their to-be shelter. With no sand around and no glass in inventory, the two girls figured out that they'd leave one-block spaces on the third-layer of their shelter- because it would get stuffy inside if there were no windows! It was a shelter- not a home, though. Aesthaetics were unimportant, but Jade couldn't help but craft some staircases to give the roof a little slope.

Just as night set in, Rose finished placing the door at the front of the house. Already the growl of the night echoes through the winds.

"Hurry up, Rose!" said Jade, "I hear those creepy-crawlies coming around!"

"Give me a second," said Rose.

She looked out into the dark woods, already sighting shambling creatures of the night. The moon was bright and an ethereal glare dressed the early evening. The trees were glowing with a silver moonlight. The roar of the fight growled deeply and the undead blight woke up. Rose clenched her fist with might and then flew a kite. Bite. White. Tight.

"Can you see the light pillar?" asked Jade.

"Aaaaahhh!" screamed Rose.

"Rose!" called Jade as she swung the front door open.

A zombie was in the process of clawing Rose's headband. She tried to ward it off with a series of quick jabs, but the creature was resilient. Jade took a shovel out of her inventory and took a timid swing at the creature. The weak smack of the shovel barely made the zombie flinch. She worried she'd hit her friend, but Jade took another harder swing and lobbed the creature's head off! It fell back and burst into a cloud of smoke.

"Sorry," said Jade, "I was scared I was gonna hit you."

"No matter," said Rose, "Did we make any swords?"

"Yeah," said Jade as she took out one from her inventory, "I wish this game had guns, though."

"There are bows," said Rose as she took the sword.

"Bows aren't the same," said Jade.

"You should ask Sollux to program guns in," said Rose, "He's already added chainsaws and dice, of all things. Dice- maybe he's trying to program in gambling games?"

"Gambling?" Jade looked around, "Anyway, we should find that pillar now. Have you seen it?"

Rose pointed out behind their house. Out in the distance, maybe 100 to 150 blocks away, was the pillar of light hiding behind many trees and a small hill. There was no mistaking it. Its silver light shot up into the night. It was the mysterious pillar alright! To be out in the dark was a quiet fright, but Rose and Jade showed courage quite! Black on white the pillar okay I'll stop now

"Let's go," said Jade as she pulled out a bow from her inventory.

"Shouldn't we prepare a little more?" said Rose.

"I don't want to stay out here forever," said Jade, "Let's just find out what the beam of light is and get back home."

Rose looked around, "Okay. Let's move out."


End file.
